Marriage is supposed to be a lifetime commitment. It is when you pledge to love and honor another for the rest of your life. Since this is such a huge commitment, it is something that should betaken seriously. Most people date for a long period of time and are in a committed relationship before they decide to take the next step of marriage. However, not all couples choose to live together before they get married.
There are many couples that get married before they have ever lived as roommates. For some people, cohabitation is the next logical step to take before marriage, but others are against cohabiting before marriage in any form. Deciding if you should live together with your significant other before marriage is often a personal decision. The topic of cohabitation is one that many people feel strongly about because it is so personal.
In today’s society, cohabitation is a lot more common than it was in the past. There was a time in history when the majority of couples did not live together until after marriage. However, this is no longer the norm and cohabitation is what is most prevalent. For some people living with the person they are in a romantic relationship with is not necessarily permanent or a huge deal. Before you come to your own conclusion on cohabitation before marriage, it is a good idea to learn about the pros and cons.
List of Pros of Cohabitation Before Marriage
1. Know the Person
Many people are of the belief that you do not truly know another until you live with them. It is easy to hide parts of your personality or shield some of your emotions when you are not around the other person all the time. When you live with someone, you get an unfiltered look at who they are. This means that couples who choose to cohabitate before marriage often know each other much better then those that do not live together beforehand. Many people that choose to cohabitate together are essentially giving marriage a trial run. They are seeing for sure if they are compatible with one another and if they are ready to make the commitment of marriage. You learn each others habits in a way that keeps you from experiencing any surprises when you get married. If you choose to cohabitate, you know the person you are marrying.
The only way that you can build and grow your relationship and bond is to spend time with the other person that you are in a relationship with. Finding time for each other can sometimes be difficult, but it is much easier when you live under the same roof. When you cohabitate, you have the ability to spend time with the other person and really build your relationship. When you love someone, you want to spend time with them and be around them whenever possible. Cohabitating makes this so much easier to achieve.
You can also approach cohabitation from a financial perspective. As a couple, you will be able to save more money if you can lower expenses by simply splitting all costs from rent to energy bills. When you live in two separate places, you have two sets of bills. Moving in together will allow you to save money that you can use on your wedding. This means that if you do have plans to be together long term, living together will only help you to accomplish your goals at a faster pace. When you have marriage in mind, cohabiting is often the best financial decision you can make.
List of Cons of Cohabitation Before Marriage
Many people that live together before they get ,married put pressure on the relationship before they are ready for it. One person might begin to expect marriage before the other one is ready and it might lead to emotions getting in the way. It is easy to have conflict when you move in with someone early on in a relationship. You might start getting sick of each other and decide that the person is not really who you want to be with. Spending all of your time together can put strain on any relationship.
2. Not Cure All
It is important to note that while living with someone does help you to learn new things about them, it will not tell you everything. This means that simply living together before you get married is not the recipe for success in marriage. There are plenty of people that live together before they get married and still have a failed marriage in the end. You should never view cohabitation as the secret to a successful marriage.
The author of this post has contributed to this blog for over five years. Go here to see her latest blog posts.